


Roses On My Grave

by Elise_Davidson



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Christmas, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elise_Davidson/pseuds/Elise_Davidson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know it ain't much."  Fang kicks at the ground.  "But I'd do it for my own if I could, or knew who they were."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roses On My Grave

Lightning felt tired, right down to her very bones and aching to her core. Her muscles were stiff, her mind agitated. She certainly had little business telling the GC how to run their military, and had even less desire to tell them where exactly they could shove her current orders. After all, she was a soldier. She did what she was told, almost to a fault.

She wondered who in the fal'Cie's name had thought it would be a good idea for her to become an instructor at the recruit-to-soldier facilities. She didn't scream like some of the other instructors did; true. But then again, most times, she didn't have to.

Her gunblade worked well enough in those cases, and she didn't play nice with blank rounds. Empty bullets would only get those green recruits killed in a real situation.

Lightning brushed her matted hair from her forehead with a grimace. The sky was even beginning to annoy her at this point—she had seen enough snowstorms in Cocoon to know that the flat, purple sky didn't bode well for the weather, and she'd be well advised to beat the storm home. Garish Christmas decorations littered the streets, pulsed through the very town, as if to remind everyone that even without the fal'Cie's interference, things were still going to be okay.

The car stuttered to a stop as she shoved the gear into park and pulled the key out at the same time.

Lightning wiped the grime from her forehead, though even through her fingerless gloves, she sensed it was more pushing it around on her skin than anything else. With a battered sigh, she unfolded her small frame from the car and shut the car door behind her. She'd get her pack later, after a shower maybe.

All thoughts of a shower were dismissed from her mind though as she approached the small house she shared with Fang and Vanille. Apparently, the season had gotten to them too, and had just turned on its most obnoxiously lit smile ever.

The house was nearly covered in lights.

Lightning groaned her displeasure, hand resting on the holster for her gunblade. She was going to murder someone, and it was not going to be pretty. She jerked open the door, lecture and tirade already forming in her lips.

Except Fang was coming around the corner, wearing that damnably charming smile of hers, and carrying two mugs of something steamy and wonderful smelling (hot chocolate laced with peppermint schnapps, Lightning tasted), and carefully steered Lightning straight towards the bathroom.

Lightning frowned, and opted for the shower instead. Something was up. She could smell it (and even if it did smell like mint schnapps and chocolate, she wasn't going to lose her skepticism). The hot water pounded over her skin; she watched as swirls of dirt and mud and grass twirled down the drain and left her skin slightly pink and flushed from the temperature.

Fang was sitting calmly (wait, calmly?) in the small living room when Lightning finally exited, wearing a loose pair of cotton pajama bottoms and a white, wife-beater tank that she'd stolen from Snow or Hope at some point (she hardly remembered; it was over a year ago). Fang was wearing her usual sari, though the belt held a small, silvery jingle bell that clinked every time she moved.

It set Lightning's teeth on edge.

Fang looked up with an arched brow. "If I didn't know better, princess, I'd think you hate Christmas."

Lightning didn't. Well, not precisely. Not completely. "Where's Vanille?" she opted for instead, ignoring the observation with her usual stoicism.

Fang shrugged with one shoulder, as if it didn't matter. "She's out shopping for the season with Snow and Hope."

Lightning frowned. "Serah's not with them?"

"Serah was less than enthused about battling all of the other people. Seems gifts and non-necessities are in short supply."

Lightning harrumphed, and plopped on the couch. "Good. It's better for everyone involved."

Fang sat up, a glint in her eye. "You do hate Christmas."

Lightning rolled her eyes and bought time by draining the rest of her mug. "More?" she asked.

"It's in the kitchen; I'm of the assumption your feet work?"

Lightning didn't dignify it with a response, but felt the hair on her neck rise when Fang followed her into the kitchen. She poured the steaming hot chocolate into her mug and laced it with a healthy dose of whatever minty liqueur Fang had sitting on the counter.

"So what did the season ever do to you?" Fang asked, crossing her arms and leaning casually against the countertop.

"If I didn't answer you the first two times you asked, what makes you think I'd answer the third time?" Lightning pointed out disdainfully. "I've had a really long day and all I really want to do is go lie down without being questioned on my opinions of a completely useless holiday."

Fang snorted this time, though Lightning missed the slip-slide of hurt that lighted rapidly over her features and disappeared with the same speed. "It's not so much a holiday. It's a time to spend with family, friends. Y'know. Be thankful and all that."

"I think you're combining two equally useless holidays." Lightning sipped from her mug and headed from the room to head again for the stairs.

"I think you're avoiding talking about it."

"There's nothing to talk about," Lightning pointed out. "So I don't like Christmas. Is that a crime?"

Fang shrugged. "It's not." She fished something from the wrapped-skirt of her sari though, and grabbed Lightning's hand. "Though you're going to look awfully mean if you don't get something for people; they've all gotten what they can for you."

Lightning swore she had a response, but the moment it tried to leave her throat, it stopped. It was cruel anyway, pointing out that it was hardly her problem that people saw fit to buy useless things. She sighed as Fang sauntered away, looking at the brightly wrapped box that the Pulsian had slapped in her hand.

"It's not that I don't like Christmas," Lightning finally muttered. It'd be a hell of a lot easier if Fang understood what it was that was setting her entire body and mind on the edge of full-blown irritation.

Fang gestured to the spot beside her on the couch. Lightning sighed, dropped the gift beneath the tree, and sat down beside of her. "Then what is it, sunshine?"

Lightning sighed irritably. "I've told you not to call me that. It wasn't a request."

"Sorry, sorry, won't happen again," Fang retorted good-naturedly, though they both knew it was a lie. "So what'd it do to you?"

Lightning looked at the fat, red-suited man on the tree. "Well. You know that mine and Serah's parents are dead."

Fang nodded, her gaze focused and intent.

"It wasn't even that they died on Christmas, you know. They died in the summer, actually." Lightning wrapped her hands around the mug, blowing on the hot liquid in it and watching the steam curl above the rim. She traced a finger over the lip of the ceramic mug and sipped from it. "But that first Christmas was terrible, after they were gone."

"It usually is. I always had Vanille—well, we always did something for each other. And for the other kids, when we got older and before we went off to fight."

"I've cared for Serah to the best of my ability. The first year was hard; I was still training, and Serah was barely into high school." Lightning's voice didn't falter, her hands didn't shake. She stared solidly at the brightly lit, blinking tree in the corner of the room, noting the little trinkets and animal fangs that were mixed in with more traditional ornaments. "But that first one…we both knew it would be hard. We just didn't realize it'd be that hard."

"Must've been hard, not being able to get her anything."

Lightning shrugged. "By the time I realized it was nearly Christmas, we barely had time to even put up a tree. The next year, I didn't bother; Serah took care of it." She leaned back, barely registering the comfort that came when Fang's hand soothingly rubbed at her neck. "When we did have money, Serah had just taken it upon herself to take care of everything. She always got our parents something, and left it on their tombstone."

Fang cocked her head to the side, her gaze lifting up briefly to where Cocoon once sat over a year ago, before they had brought it tumbling down from the sky.

Lightning rubbed her forehead, a small headache building behind her eyes. "We can't even do that this year, can't even bury them properly in real soil."

Fang declined to mention that she didn't even know where (or if) her parents were buried. She'd been in the orphanage as long as she could remember.

"Vanille used to do something similar for her parents," Fang mentioned idly. "She would take something small, every year. Usually something she'd made herself. It was puppets one year—she'd made them from socks."

It didn't pull a smile on Lightning's tired face, but her eyes had closed and her breathing was growing shallow and steady.

Fang grinned despite herself. She had a feeling that Lightning was tired, but then again, the pink-haired soldier had walked in nearly covered head-to-toe in smudged mud and grass.

"Come on, sunshine. Time for bed," Fang finally said softly, and pulled Lightning to her feet.

To her credit, Lightning didn't protest, though she mumbled something barely coherently. Still, she allowed Fang to lay her down and pull the blankets up to her chin.

Fang pursed her lips, and decide it was time to call Serah. She finally had a better idea for what to get Lightning for Christmas, and aside from Vanille, Lightning was one of the few people left that Fang would easily lay her life down for.

Serah picked up though, and cried a little when Fang asked her the necessary questions, and then instructed Serah to have Lightning by the old tribal village down the ravine by sundown.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lightning winced and grimaced. Something was poking her in the shoulder. And it was uncomfortable. When she batted it away, she felt something soft and fleshy, and opened one eye as a result, hand going immediately for her gunblade.

"Lightning," Serah snapped irritably, her cheeks flushed with the outside weather. "For heaven's sake!"

Lightning glared at her, feeling rumpled and sloppy. She hated rumpled and sloppy. "Serah? What time is it?" She didn't wait for the response, and turned her alarm clock towards her. With a groan, she flopped back down. "Serah…I love you, you know that. But it's five in the morning, and I haven't had a day off in weeks."

A sharp clap had her reaching for the gunblade again, and she shot up when she realized Serah was holding it (albeit wrong) and pointed it at her.

Lightning swallowed. "Serah, that's loaded."

Serah narrowed her eyes. "Up. And I know it's loaded. When is it not loaded?"

Lightning groaned and finally stood, if for no other reason than to take the weapon away from her sister. "That was incredibly stupid."

Serah shrugged. "It's not like I don't know how to use it."

"I see this," Lightning muttered as she clicked the safety back on. "What in the world do you want? It's early, and I'm tired."

"I've been instructed to take you to Oerba."

Lightning frowned. "Unless you've mastered how to drive a velocycle, you're out of luck because I'm not driving us."

Serah put her hands on her hips, her bow-shaped mouth curling with determination. "Too bad. Snow's driving you."

Lightning snorted. "That'll be the day."

Serah sighed. "Please, Claire?" she finally asked, going for wounded and knowing that she'd succeeded. "It's really important, I promise."

Lightning took her turn to sigh, and she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "It damn well better be," she finally muttered and shooed Serah from the room so she could dress.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oerba was quiet when Lightning arrived (alone; like hell if she would let Snow drive her anywhere on these things); the citizens hadn't gotten around to expanding much out of New Bodhum yet as it was. Still, as Lightning surveyed the ruins and landscaping, it wasn't difficult for her to remember that vampires and ghouls once roamed here, toads and dangerous fauna.

Lightning sighed as she parked the velocycle (deathtrap) and headed over the broken bridge of Oerba. A cracked sphere caught her eye, and it reminded her of the things they'd found while saving Cocoon, and wondered briefly if perhaps this were just a trap to get her where she would be distracted.

It made her hyper-focused as a result, and she whirled with her gunblade aimed when she got the distinct feeling someone (something, more like) was watching her.

It turned out to be someone though, and Fang raised her hands in surrender. Her arms were bared as per usual from the sari, though she didn't seem cold. Lightning wasn't sure why; it was bloody freezing out here.

"If you're the one that told Serah to bring me out here at the crack of dawn, I'm going to be extremely put out," Lightning warned (more growled, really), not lowering the weapon.

"Take it easy, princess. She told you it was important, which means I told her it was important—do you really think I'd lie to her?"

Lightning snorted. "There's a great many things I'm positive you'd do."

"Only fools are positive." Fang rolled her eyes as Lightning finally lowered her weapon. "Just come on," she finally grumbled, and stalked past Lightning.

Lightning frowned at the tired hunch of Fang's shoulders, and caught up to the taller woman if only to see the dark circles that marred Fang's bright green eyes.

"Have you slept at all?" Lightning asked, going for a smidgen of concern and frowning when it came out more clinical and disappointed than anything.

"Leave it," Fang retorted peevishly, and brushed her wild hair from her face. She was walking towards a part of town that they hadn't explored when Lightning had been here last, but Fang didn't get her spear out.

Lightning looked at the steep path surreptitiously. It was little more than a tall, narrow ditch, really, and overgrown with local fauna. The vegetation wasn't likely to kill them (as it had in the past) but it didn't look exactly harmless either, not with the brightly colored leaves and thorns.

Fang raised an eyebrow from where she'd started maneuvering her way own. "Coming, sunshine?"

Lightning huffed, and groaned inwardly when the first thorn scratched her knee. Still, she followed Fang down the ditch, frowning as the vegetation grew thicker and thicker till they had rounded themselves into a veritable forest that had finally been able to grow in the monsters' absence. If Lightning had climbed to the canopy, she'd have been able to see the lights of New Bodhum as well as the rust-eaten bridge, and beyond that—

She stopped her thought process and steadfastly refused to think of Barthandelus.

"You know, if you're just trying to take me to Sulyya Springs, I'm pretty sure the C'ieth stones are still active as waypoints," Lightning muttered.

"Who said we were going there?" Fang asked quizzically, though the amusement in her tone was clear.

Lightning declined to answer with the certainty that her retort was likely to be riddled with every insult she could think of (not all necessarily in the same language; she had been sharing a living space with Fang after all).

Still, it was a good hour or two of frustration before Lightning made out anything else, and while Fang hadn't been lying about Sulyya Springs, Lightning may not have been able to tell the difference. The vegetation was green and lush, overflowing over rocks and the ground as if it had been finally allowed to grow and flourish.

Lightning frowned when her boot caught on one of the said rocks, and she looked down. It wasn't a rock though; the stone was far too smooth and had deliberate engravings. She kneeled down, ignoring the wet dew that seeped into the scrapes on her knees and traced her fingers over the markings.

Vanille had slowly been showing her how to read the Pulsian language, since many of the abandoned road signs and ruins all used it, but if she was reading it right, then the stone had—

A name?

Lightning looked up suspiciously, and noted finally that there were other stones, and Fang was clearing them off with her spear. It finally occurred to her that Fang had brought her to a graveyard.

"If you're trying to win my fair heart, madame, bringing me to a cemetery isn't the way to do so," Lightning said bitterly. "I'm going home and going to bed."

Fang muttered something inaudible (Lightning knew enough of the language to know that something unflattering had just been said about vipers), and snatched Lightning's wrist as she stood.

"Would you just cool your jets?" Fang finally asked, and her face was serious and intense as she pulled Lightning over and through the brambled patches of overgrown plants.

"Tell me why I'm here at this hour, and I will."

Fang kneeled and swept away some of the thorny twigs. They cleared off easily enough that Lightning realized at once that they'd been put there on purpose, and possibly recently. And then she lost her voice all together.

The stones were fairly new, and the engraving was done by hand instead of machine; the writing wasn't as smooth. But the names were there, and Lightning recognized them immediately as her parents.

She swallowed against the lump in her throat, and didn't move for quite some time; at least, not until Fang gently nudged her and asked her something she didn't hear.  
Lightning looked at her with unreadable features.

"I asked if you were okay, princess?" Fang finally asked, and Lightning felt another wave of surprise jolt her at the concern in Fang's eyes and also the embarrassed flush of her face. "I called Serah last night to ask her their names, and the year they died." Fang was particularly interested in that moment at a loose thread in her sari. "It ain't much; it's not like they're actually buried here…but at least you've got a place to remember them now."

Fang was still staring at the ground, and was therefore literally knocked down when Lightning wordlessly shoved her into an awkward embrace. It practically felt rusty and out of use, Fang knew that much, and Lightning was peering at her skeptically.

"Why would you do something like this?" Lightning finally asked, and her voice was thick.

Fang shrugged, her hands gently wrapped on Lightning's small waist. "Just because one side of you ignores the fact that your parents are dead doesn't mean that the other side of you doesn't need to mourn them once in a while and visit them." Her fingers tightened, brushing just against the hint of skin that showed beneath the hem of Lightning's jacket. "I'd do it for my own, if I could or knew who they were."

Lightning buried her face into Fang's shoulder.

Fang wasn't an expert at comfort, but she knew when to keep her mouth shut and simply be there. She ran a hand over Lightning's growing hair, simply getting used to the feel of the younger woman in her arms. There were people she liked less that she'd done more for.

Lightning's grip went between bone-crushing and loose all within moments of time that could've been minutes or hours, but when she did pull away, Fang caught the wet streaks on her face before Lightning turned away to wipe them off.

"You can't possibly know what this means to me," Lightning finally said quietly, and startled a bit when Fang's arms came back around her once more from behind, and the older woman settled her chin on Lightning's shoulder.

"Maybe not to Lightning," Fang responded carefully, lips brushing against sensitive skin. "But I know what it means to Claire."

Lightning didn't respond at first, not until she slowly turned in Fang's arms, and stared at the Pulsian for a long moment. "Unavoidable, I think."

Fang didn't have to ask what Lightning was talking about. Instead, she leaned in close to Lightning's face with a smirk on her lips and her heart fluttering wildly against her chest.

"Merry Christmas, Sunshine."

Lightning kissed her before Fang moved in for it, which only made Fang smile all the more.

xxxxFINxxxx

**Author's Note:**

> Published last Christmas on FF.net. In the slow process of moving all fics.


End file.
